Every day I struggle with my mouth, and making sure that the things that come out of it are glorifying to God. When I get frustrated, I tend to not glorify God. It stinks, I hate it. After I speak words that are not pleasing to God, I profusely apologize and ask for forgiveness. Not just from Him, but from my children as well. If they hear those displeasing words, they could repeat them. Each time, I have to say "Mommy is so sorry for saying a bad word. It's not okay that mommy talks like that. It doesn't make God happy when we speak with those words. We have to remember to be pleasing to God. Can you forgive mommy for talking in a way that isn't pleasing to God, and isn't pleasing to you?" This is a daily struggle for me.
Over the last few years, I've pretty much just walked through my Christian life. I go to church, I listen to (and love) the sermons, I think I'm going to apply them to my life - and I don't. I go home and go back to life. I know that there are a lot of Christians that are like that. I don't want to be like that - I want to live a Godly life. I want to go to church and really take what my pastor says, take it home and relish in it - live it!
I pray. It's not often, or at least, it wasn't often until recently. I mean, I've gone through my phases where I write out a prayer list every day/week, and I pray them - but I really haven't been a big prayer person. That's probably the thing I love doing most, but just get caught up with life and forget to do it, or say I'll do it later and never do. Lately, I've been praying constantly. I pray throughout the day while I'm doing things, I pray in the car when Daddy is driving and I'm just sitting there looking at the beautiful sky and thinking how it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and I pray before I sleep (most of the time, sometimes I fall asleep during it, eek!).
This is brutal. It's my confession, and it is really sad to see all of it in writing. Not only did I type it out, I'm sharing it with the world. So now, all of you know how much of a fraud I am. No, I'm not a fraud, I'm just not good at it. I want to be. So, if you're reading this, pray for me. Encourage me. Come alongside me in this journey to be a better Christian.
As a Christian, what's your biggest struggle?